i can cut you into pieces, when my heart is broken.

i have a crush. on a practically married man. ack. suckiness. he has a crush on me too. but he is a gentleman, and would not do anything about it. he loves his girlfriend. and i am not a home-wrecker. but damn sometimes it is hard. i want him. but i have to back the fuck off. My mum is frustrated with me, she thinks any guy who is nice to me, i fall for. maybe she is right. its been a while since i have had someone to love or that loves me ( well actually a lie, but it FEELS long haha) i have people that want to be with me. but i don't feel the same. does that make me picky? and the one guy i feel almost could tick all boxes is off limits. but that's fine. there are plenty more single fish in the sea :D or that is at least what i keep telling myself. it is nearly 2 in the am and i still cannot sleep. my mind is in overdrive and i want to cry. this is why i do not like getting involved with people. it is easier to keep my distance. all i ever do on this is moan. thank god no one reads this shit :P