what do you do when a friend has been torn down unecessarily? i have this beautiful bright friend who has just finished her mastersafter 6 years of study who has been working at my work for about 6 months or more. She initiated a meeting with the head honcho of this workplace to see if she can work something out for the future - to be basically told that she wont get anywhere unless she goes back to school and study. got told to leave pretty much. she is upset. manager was really blunt and mean about the whole thing. i hate working here sometimes.

I have girl crushes, many many.

so, i went to the roller derby on saturday night. Oh. My. God. if i thought i wanted to do roller derby before, i am even more determined to do it now. the crashing! the excitement! the lovely 

lovely legs..... uhh... haha. i am in awe. Ginger tonyx. what a minx! haha. all the girls were just awe inspiring! and the ones i have met have been sooo nice! the best thing about saturday night is that i met some new people, and i am going out again on friday night with them! i feel happier than i have been in a long time and i can only hope and wish it gets better! watch this space... there may be a bad karma in me after all :D

ginger tonyx! *fangirl squeal*

the loverly miss savage! hee 

i used to go

to school with her, sweetest thing ever!

*these were all taken from ritcher city roller derby photostream on flickr!

I was looking for a job and then I found a job/ Heaven knows I’m miserable now’

I was looking for a job and then I found a job/ Heaven knows I’m miserable now’ 

Sometimes there are perks to my job. It is great to be able to "take the long way" to the toilet and oh! look, i can see the new books we have in processing! i can see the new dvds and cds before they are accessioned, and put holds on things before they come out. i get free reserves and free rentals. and sometimes when they acquire surplus items or bonus items, they give them away to us minions on the ground floor.

so yeah, i guess i do get it good sometimes. just have to remember that in the times of bad. when the computers throw a fit and delete everything i have just written, when customers throw a wobbly because something should be there and it's not. when im trying my hardest to be positive and cheerful to customers and they don't even bother to acknowledge me except to throw their stuff at me. when all my peers are bitching and moaning, when i pour my heart and soul into something for it to fail. i have to remember the good things.

like when a customer is just so happy that you have found what they were looking for, when i get my 'regulars' coming in and i can have a goss, when work is going well and everyone is getting on, when i run my meetings and it all goes fantastically well, when i pick up something that is new and (surprise surprise) noone else wants it, when i feel like i am in control and appreciated.

So maybe most days (as you can see on this blog) i am a 'glass half empty' girl. but i do know when to thank my lucky stars that i have a job that mostly enjoy ....... (even if i would fire most of the staff:! ;)

id like to punch the whole world in the face... and smile maniacally as i doooo......

one more day of work. i don't want to go? i feel like an outcast at work. like there are cliques at work and i am just the disapproving outsider. and i get the urge yet again to punch them all in the face. yesterday a lady returned (all on one card) 145 books through the returns slot and i just wanted to cry. then punch this lady in the face. why i am i feeling so aggressive all the time? what is the point? why do i feel like crying and just staying in bed and not facing the world. i want to gym it today but already i have wasted too much time on here to go. 

i feel like a need a break. i need to get away. the boy leaves in 2 weeks.. i dont know how i feel about that yet. i have not thought about it too hard, and between us it has been really good, not fighting as much,  feeling happy and content with him. so meh.

oh and happy late halloween. how i wish we celebrated it more sometimes. an excuse to dress up and eat lollies? tell me more!